Behind the Scenes with J’ammanuel Egnoue: Why I did the frog dance

AFCB special columnist J’ammanuel Egnoue explains Alex Song’s hair and ‘that’ frog dance…

Hola Amigos!

Egnoue here again! It’s been a busy week around Asburton Grove, with two matches. One league match against the vicious thugs of Bolton and another in the champions league against European giants Braga.

Two wins are always a great result and there is one reason why we won these two matches. I was so happy with the Braga win, that on the way home I stopped in at Tesco and bought a giant bottle of white lightning cider to have with dinner that night. Rest assured I was a bit sluggish at training the following day!

I’ve had some mail during the week. The first one is from Daniel Snaith, an Arsenal supporter from North London.

Dear Mr. Egnoue,

I saw you doing a strange warm up routine during the Braga match. Sort of like a frog jump on the sideline. What was all that about?

Yours truly,
Daniel Snaith

Well Daniel, thanks for writing in. Indeed, I’ve had a few letters about that particular incident. It wasn’t a warm-up per se, I was actually practising for a forthcoming movie role in which I play the part of “Large Frog”. It is inspired by that 1980s arcade game called ‘Frogger’. You know, where that game where a little frog has to cross a busy street without getting run over, and then take on a stream with logs and alligators?

I’m starring opposite Kate Winslet, who plays a role as an alligator. Mickey Rourke has been cast as an irate taxi driver. It’s being directed by Guy Ritchie, who did that awesome film ‘Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels’ from a few years back.

So, why was I doing this during the match? Well, I’ve been a bit pressed for time recently, and I really have to practise my frog jumping. I was waiting to come on, and thought, ‘Hey, why the hell not just practise now?’ Seems a bit strange, but there was a perfectly rationale explanation!

Dear J’ammanuel

What the hell is going on with Alex Song’s hair?

Faithfully,
Victoria Beckham

Oh, yes. There have been some questions in the media about Alex’s hair. It’s a bit weird eh? Even stranger than Bac’s! Well, there is an explanation.

Within the Arsenal camp, it is well known that Alex Song, along with Johann Djourou are big fans of Dragonball Z. I think Song is so obsessed with it that he thinks that the more he resembles Goku, the more likely he is to achieve the Super Saiyan ability, and be able to simply blast away the opposition. I was skeptical at first, but it may be working! He scored a great goal against Bolton. And I think it had everything to do with his hair. You’ll note that after he scored, I jumped down on the ground and touched my head to Alex’s. I was trying to channel some of that legendary Saiyan ability!

On the Song news front, be on the lookout for Alex’s upcoming record he is doing with Cypress Hill. It’s called ‘Hits from the Song’.

Dear Mr. Egnoue

Are you really actually Emmanuel Eboue?

Regards,
Endrei Marshavin

Yes Endrie, I really am J’ammanuel Egnoue.

That’s all I have time for this week, unfortunately. I’m behind on my chicken dance practise and I also have to brush up on my Korean.

Right now it’s time to feed the Panthers.

Love,
J’ammanuel

Have your say on J’ammanuel’s latest post by leaving a comment.

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17 Responses to “Behind the Scenes with J’ammanuel Egnoue: Why I did the frog dance”

  1. Ziggy
    September 17, 2010 at 5:27 pm #

    I bet you and your kindergarten friends find it very funny but here you should expect a bir more mature audience, who may prefer slightly more refined sense of humour, get my drift?

  2. GoonerEris
    September 17, 2010 at 5:27 pm #

    Very hilarious! Someone has way too much time on thier hands.

  3. Andrew Weber
    September 17, 2010 at 5:30 pm #

    @ Ziggy – Please explain your drift, I’d love to hear it. It’s just a bit of fun, lighten up and enjoy it.

  4. Andrew Enloe
    September 17, 2010 at 5:46 pm #

    Kate Winslet as an alligator. I’d watch that.

  5. Uncle Mike
    September 17, 2010 at 6:47 pm #

    Mr. Wenger, did you see that new movie starring J’ammanuel Egnoue? “No, no, I didn’t see it. I was busy working on the strategies that will lead our club to victory. That, and windup up Fat Sam. It is good to be on the other side of that for a change.”

  6. carlos
    September 17, 2010 at 7:21 pm #

    Very amusing. Your IQ is like what…4 ,5 ?

  7. Ati
    September 17, 2010 at 7:28 pm #

    Andrew, do check your blog’s email mate!

  8. Angie
    September 17, 2010 at 7:37 pm #

    Well go Dragon Ball if that works! 😀 I was a big fan when I was a teenager, let’s hope if he scores next time he will do a kamehameha :P:P:P:P Really cool article Thaaaaanks J’ammanuel!

  9. Ianinja
    September 17, 2010 at 7:48 pm #

    Isn’t Egnoue married to Kimora, I’m sure I saw it on E channel. Oh yeah Ziggy lighten up man don’t be such a stiff, in the refined circles this type of comedy is called satire, try it you may learn something.

  10. GunnerBoss
    September 17, 2010 at 9:08 pm #

    @ziggy – Oh shut up.
    Thanks Egnoue or Egg nog……
    Yah hoooo weeeeeeeee

  11. Andrew Weber
    September 17, 2010 at 9:30 pm #

    @ Angie – The funny this is that what J’ammanuel is saying here about Dragonball Z here is the truth. Both Song and Djourou said is was their favourite TV show on some interviews with Arsenal TV a few years ago.

  12. Sing for Song
    September 18, 2010 at 12:22 am #

    @GunnerBoss – Egg nog …. Yah hooooo weeeeeeeeeee I love it!

    So glad there is a sensible explanation for Alex’s hair, I will never be sad for Song again!

    Love this column
    @ziggy – there is so much variety on this blog, that if you don’t enjoy this part – read one of the other ones!

  13. Darragh
    September 18, 2010 at 2:15 am #

    Egnoue is one crazy man! I think he has been taking one too many ‘hits from the bong’.

  14. Seni
    September 19, 2010 at 11:06 pm #

    This is really funny =) like it

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Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Sunderland v Arsenal preview: Braga freshness means no excuses - September 18, 2010

    […] In midfield Alex Song’s early midweek bath suggests he is set to start with support coming from Fabregas and, in my opinion, Denilson, whose short passing game could give us the appropriate tempo to keep Sunderland’s defensive on their toes. Chamakh and Arshavin are both certainties to start meaning there is one position up for grabs on the right which could be taken by any one of Samir Nasri, Tomas Rosicky, Carlos Vela or even that man Eboue. […]

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